The Ten Rules of Girlfriend Etiquette

Well, these are what I can come up with at the moment based on my own experience.

1. This is the most important. And it's complicated. You need to let your boyfriend know that you want him, but not that you need him. Even if you do. This entails not being clingy, not calling him every few hours when you're not together, not asking a gazillion questions about what he's done when you're apart, and not giving him a play by play of everything you do while you're not together.

2. Have a life outside of him. Seriously. This will come in handy in the event that things go to hell. Because right now, I have no life outside of him, and I'm blogging. About him.

3. Find something that he really likes, whether it be video games, SyFy, sports, whatever, and spend at least three hours each week doing that with him. If it means you're in Game Stop every time there is a new WoW or CoD, supporting his favorite football team, or you're glued to SyFy every time Stargate comes on, make sure you take an interest in his own interests.

4. Do not expect anything. This is something my boyfriend told me. "Whenever you're expecting a certain reaction out of me, 99.9% of the time you're going to be disappointed." And he was right. No comforting when I was crying. No sympathy when I was depressed or frustrated. And I was disappointed a lot. So don't expect him to do what you want or need, because you're only leading yourself down the path of...what? That's right. Disappointment.

5. Well, expect one thing. When you're sick, you may or may not have a guy who is going to make you chicken soup and bring you a glass of orange juice, but if he is sick, make damn sure that you're there with the remote, chicken soup, orange juice, and whatever favorite snack food he likes.

6. Give him his time alone. Going back to #3, this does not mean smother him every time he is playing video games, screaming touchdown, or getting in touch with his inner scientist. He will want time alone, without you blabbing at him or kissing him or wanting to cuddle. So, going back to #2, make sure you have something to do outside of him. I used to have my poetry, but when he entered my life, I stopped almost everything else, except him. This is extremely unhealthy.

7. If you're going to keep a log of everything he does wrong, do it in a journal or in a notebook. Don't bring it up every time you're in an argument, don't use one of his own faults as an excuse for your faults. And never, ever fall into the trap of "an eye for an eye." If he lies to you, this does not in any way give you the right to lie to him. Keep your own morals, not his.

8. If you talk about your problems to your friends and they give you advice, do not let him know. Men, at least the ones I have been with, have a serious problem with girls talking about their personal lives with their friends. I think it gives them the feeling that their masculinity is being questioned. Oh, but believe me, they do the same thing, whether it's to their friends, co-workers, mothers, brothers, whatever. Have no illusions about that.

9. If you have a boyfriend who calls you at work just to tell you he loves you, it's probably safe to say you can do the same. But if you don't hear a peep from him at your job, it stands to reason that if you call him at work just to tell him you love him or that you're feeling a little under the weather, really, anything short of you've been in an accident and you're in the hospital or you're having the baby, he's probably not going to be happy to hear from you.

10. Always be aware that this multi-tasking thing is really a female thing more than anything. Literally. Whether he's focused on his job, a Cowboys game, a SyFy original, or the newest game of guns and violence, don't expect him to file a word you say about your day, your sorrows, your joys, or anything else while he is immersed.


I guess that's it for now.