What Do Guys Hate?

So I took a (kind of) poll yesterday. I asked random guys (friends, strangers, family), two questions.

#1 - Tell me something about a girl you dated (past or present), that you absolutely could not stand about her.

#2 - What is one thing that a girl could do that, even if you loved her, would push you away completely?

The most common answers to the first question were as follows:

a.) Controlling - whether it come to money, or just in general, guys do not like to be controlled by their girlfriend.

b.) Lying - about anything at all. Which is strange, because I think that is the #1 thing on most girls' lists that would drive them mad. And most guys lie. To me anyway.

I also got "talking ghetto," asking the same thing over and over again, not allowing him to hug and kiss her, not allowing him to masturbate, drugs, lack of hygiene and the double standards of oral sex. I got some pretty interesting answers.

And the most common answers to the second question.

a.) Cheating - this is the most commonly answered to the question.

b.) Nothing - quite a few guys said that if they loved the girl, nothing could push them away.

I also got smoking, getting pregnant so she could stay home and collect welfare.






So, I was talking to one of the guys who answered the questions for my survey, a complete stranger, and talking to him made me realize some things about men and women. I think a lot of people concentrate on the differences and try to teach people about how to cope with those differences, which is good, I'm not saying anything bad about that, but I think in doing that, we overlook the similarities, and that can be a bad thing.

One thing that this stranger had questions for me about, was the control issue. When it came to bed. We were talking about how a lot of guys answered control for the first question, and I mentioned that unless the guy is into the whole being controlled by a woman thing, that most men avoided it and were annoyed by it. He said that he was little into being controlled by a woman, even though he had said that her being controlling was something he could not stand about her.

Apparently, men and women have this issue in common. I think a lot of women get into the idea that they want a man to be in control, when what they really mean is they want a man to be dominating in bed. When it bleeds over into other areas of their lives, it can become overbearing and somewhat annoying. What I learned from Mister Stranger, is that it is the same way with men. He said that he thought he wanted a woman who was a bit controlling, when what he really wanted was a woman who was controlling in bed.

But when it comes to that, there really has to be some boundaries and equality, or else even that will become overbearing and quite annoying. For most relationships, the woman being domineering in bed all the time or vice versa will wear on, probably, both parties. If it's the woman who is in control, and who initiates sex all the time, she will probably start to feel unwanted if the man never initiates it himself, and she will also start to feel that her femininity is slipping if she is too domineering. If it's the man who is in control and initiating sex all the time, he will also probably feel unwanted because the woman never initiates it, and begin to question his masculinity.

One thing, though, is that when the woman becomes too controlling in areas of the relationship other than in bed, it begins to suffocate most men, and they start to feel as though they are no longer the man in the relationship, like their whole life revolves around this woman who demands all of his attention no matter what else is going on in his life.

I talked to another stranger, Mister Stranger No. 2, who told me that when a guy is away from the girl, that is his time to unwind and be alone. Regardless of whether the girl is a nag or not, sometimes being around someone constantly becomes, in and of itself, a nag, and even if it is a few hours alone just driving around, he needs that space. No. 2 also told me that with guys, if a girl is too clingy, too needy, and shows too much how dependant she is on her man, that the man will begin to feel that he can do anything and get away with it because of how much the girl wants him, and that can actually lead to the guy cheating.

It's like a child. A child will push the limits, a little bit at a time, to see how much they can get away with. The same holds true with some men, according to No. 2, and their relationships. A woman who has puppy dog eyes and makes excuses for her man no matter what he does, well, it leaves the door open for temptation to see how far they can go.

No. 2 told me not to call my boyfriend. He told me to let him breathe and to let him call me on his own time. But it had been nine hours since he told me he would call me back, and that is a long time in my book, so I decided to call him. Big mistake. How big? Well, let's just say he said he was thinking about calling it quits, that he was going to hang up before he said anything else he might regret, then proceeded to hang up his phone and turn it off.

So. Learn from my mistake girls. Even if they say they will call you back at 1:30 in the afternoon, and 10:30 pm rolls around...don't call them. Especially if your relationship is already in jeopardy.